Blueprint For A Successful Pickup

By Jordan Stein

After bypassing a line full of eager riffraff and getting the nod from the ultra-hip transvestite bouncer to cross the velvet rope, you strut, not walk, into a club full of possibility. Immediately, you catch the eye of one of the hotter barflies. Acutely aware of the power of her sexuality, well versed in the art of flirtation and unapologetic about the fact that she's into you, she approaches, and lively conversation ensues.

She laughs at your jokes and simultaneously touches your hand to reinforce her steadfast interest and just when things couldn't be going any better, they do. She calls over her eyelash-batting friends in napkin tank tops to get in on the action and for the duration of the night, surrounded by gorgeous women with plunging necklines, you are made to feel like a rock star. You exit the club with more arm candy than Hef and hit the hot tub like you're on Big Brother.

Dream sequence ends. Cut to reality and the need for a blueprint for a successful pickup.

Unless you're as high profile as Jay-Z, as charming as Clooney or as good-looking as Brad Pitt, you can bet the farm that a successful pickup will never happen like it does in your cerebral cineplex. Making your next night out a potential triumph instead of a particular disaster is going to require some work. So if you're just sitting around the house in a tattered Coed Naked T-shirt, now seems like as good a time as any to learn the blueprint for a successful pickup.
it's all in the presentation
Part of the blueprint for a successful pickup requires you to look good. Here are a few tips to help you look and feel your best just in time for your next romp.

Work out
Logging an hour in at the gym will take the edge off better than just about any illicit narcotic you could dream of poisoning yourself with and it's good for you. Being regular at the gym will result in you looking and feeling better, and consequently you'll be more attractive to women.

Dress better
Girls notice how a guy puts himself together. Contrary to popular belief, they are not in perpetual pursuit of their next makeover project. If you need help, a trip to your local Banana Republic, Club Monaco or straight to AskMen.com's fashion channel should do the trick.

Scrub
Your hygiene regimen should not just consist of dousing yourself in deodorant and cologne. Those two work best in conjunction with an actual shower, so be sure to take one.

location, location, location
Wherever you decide to go for a night out, try to arrive early enough so you can procure some real estate. A table, a corner of the bar or whatever else you can get your hands on will prove to be a precious commodity in an overcrowded nightspot where the bump 'n' grind is a trip to the bar, not just a cheesy dance move.

Between unilateral attempts to pique the interest of the woman with the disproportionately large breasts, or after a stinging rejection at the hands of that impenetrable part-time model, this piece of property will always be safe, reliable and populated with familiar faces.
see & be seen, drink & be drunk
Now that you've marked your territory, you need to get a feel for your surroundings by doing a few laps around the bar or club. As you do, carefully study all the signs -- the body language and eye contact -- that will help you determine who to pay a visit to as the night progresses.

Throughout this preliminary stage, or at any other, you may choose to accessorize with a drink, but beware of the intrinsic discrepancy.

The right amount of liquid courage can do wonders for your self-esteem, take your vocabulary from Bush to Obama heights and put your comedic material on par with Dane Cook and Patton Oswalt. However, too much of a good thing, as in paying homage to Motley Crue's hard-drinking glory days, will have a markedly different effect. Your inner strife will come funneling out like Niagara Falls and your witty rhetoric will be reduced to an incoherent drone, so practice graceful inebriation.
make your move
Whether your end goal is a set of numerals, a tour of her apartment or a hand in marriage, it is going to require work. The alternative is a night alone on the couch in front of an infomercial. Now, get off your duff and start punching the clock.

If you see something you like, wait for an opportune moment -- like her standing at the bar next to you or taking leave of her 18 friends for two valuable minutes -- to seize it and tell her. This method is sink or swim, but at least you'll know where you stand without wasting time trying to gauge the probability of her ending up on all fours.

Once she's within earshot, you should comment on your surroundings, on her trendy bracelets or on that creep at the end of the bar who's been burning a whole through her hip-huggers, but whatever the subject, make sure you know what you're talking about.

While you're at it, dispense with all the flash and half-truths nightlife is notorious for. There's no need to lie about your vintage Ford Taurus or exaggerate the amount of zeros in your salary to increase the perceived size of your penis. Honesty might open more doors (and legs) than you think and also sends a subtle, yet discernible message that you are confident enough to not have to embellish.

Be mysterious
Women are intrigued by mystique. Convey this aura by not revealing too much of yourself at once. Instead of opening with a formal introduction, you should give her a couple of minutes of your best material and let her intrigue build to a crescendo before telling her the name your parents chose for you. Likewise, you should spread out all personal information over time to keep her guessing.

Furthermore, you don't want to spend the entire night with her. We tend to think of women in terms of conquests because they often play hard to get, but you can make yourself the conquest by periodically leaving her side, revisiting home base where your friends are stationed or even flirting with a rival woman. Being a challenge will leave her wanting more.
Quit while you're ahead
If the sexy young maiden you've been hitting on keeps scanning the room rather than maintaining eye contact, or has furnished you with an ominous line such as "I have to go find my friends," you may be in the midst of talking to a woman who is less than interested.

If you suspect indifference is afoot, it's time for you to bow out gracefully. There's a lot to be said about a man who can recognize failure and cut his losses early, rather than forcing an issue until his ego bares the brunt of his unrelenting delusion.
you have to make it happen
You can't just will a woman to relinquish her digits (or thong); you have to make it happen. Remember, you're not going to a bra burning rally; you're going to a club, where most of the women are expecting you to approach them -- not the other way around. The above strategies only work in tandem with a measure of brazenness, so remember to check your timidity along with your coat.

The law of averages dictates that a few of your nights out are destined to culminate with you stuffing your face at some low-rent IHOP with the rest of your down-on-its-luck crew. Keeping your expectations in check, your skin thick and your sense of humor robust will help you get the most out of this game.


source: askmen.com